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I’m home from Beyond Leather, admiring bruises and processing thoughts in between naps. The bags aren’t unpacked but the laundry is in and I had a to-do list for today that is going to get put off because I just can’t seem to get motivated to stay out of bed, or awake for what it’s worth.

Today is self care day. A do nothing day. Yesterday was a bit of an emotional day as I packed O/our bags to go home. I paced the hotel room looking for things to do to occupy my head until it was time to catch the Uber to the airport. I’m really happy that the three of us got to fly back from FLL to DIA together, even if it was rows apart. We would be leaving as a family at least.

The tears started to sting my eyes the moment I sat across from my Daddy in the van and looked at him. It was then I waved good-bye and felt my heart sink as I knew the weekend and my time with him was ending. This distance is getting harder by the week and I try not to focus on the good bye but it is what it is.

It’s been off and on tears since and will be for a few days yet.

We hugged in the airport and talked about how the next time we meet will be when we get married, and Daddy tried hard to keep me from breaking down, and I tried hard to make it easy for him to leave by being a brave big girl…I said I love you and when he let me go I didn’t watch him leave. I looked to Saphy and we made a beeline for the bathroom where I could break down and regain my composure while keeping some of my dignity intact.

My phone rang, it was Daddy. How did he know I still needed him with me? I squeaked out a hello through my sobs just grateful for his voice, ” Whiner, I don’t want to leave without saying good-bye but I didn’t want to make it harder for you” It was a short talk but he lifted my spirits and reminded me he would be calling me today, my tears were dry on my face when I returned to meet Saphy.

There are so many take away’s from the weekend, not only for me but I know for my Daddy and sister as well. A lot of growth in our personal development as well as the dynamic developments that exist between us all.

We got to see our friends win the IPE title and be there to support them and I am reserving my thoughts on that for later, but I want to say how proud I am of them and how truly happy I am that I got to be witness to that.

Beyond Leather was a good weekend but I will be honest, the event itself wasn’t spectacular to me. As an event host I preach to my attendee’s that events are what you make of them. I provide the venue, I provide the atmosphere but the rest is up to you and so regardless of the classes offered or not offered, regardless of the organizational things I disagree with or some of the personal experiences I had I made my experiences my own and had a fucking great time in Florida with my kink family and coming home sucked donkey balls.

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