Hamburg Germany, Bremen Germany, Hannover Germany, Berlin Germany, Frankfurt Germany, Munich Germany, Dortmund Germany, Stuttgart Germany
Nina Dellis / Nina Toubale Facebook
Nina Dellis / Nina Toubale Instagram
As I write this I’m sitting in a cheap, seedy motel somewhere in Buttfuck Nowhere, Louisiana, and I have spent the last 2 weeks doing scary shit.
Driving for days, presenting workshops/teaching, and meeting and greeting fans, fellow authors and the people I’ve known for years but never actually seen has been hard.
Not: “Oh, this maths equation is hard!” hard… I mean:
When you took me to the airport, all I wanted to do was throw myself at your feet and beg you to take me home. Don’t make me go – I don’t want to go. I’m fucking SCARED!
But as much as you may have wanted me to stay, as much as I wanted to stay, you put me on that first plane after telling me that you love me, that I can do this, that I need to do this – for my career and for my family.
I’ve never before had a man look out for me the way you do. For the first time in my whole life, I feel completely loved, cherished and protected. I feel safe.
You’re giving me what every little girl wants and needs: roots and wings. I can only do this because I know I have you to come home to. When you put your big strong arms around me and I lay my head on your chest, nothing else matters. I’m home.
I miss you so much it hurts; I’m surrounded by people I want you to meet, by sights I want you to see, by experiences I want to share with you. There isn’t a second in which you’re not in my thoughts. And we’re only halfway through this seemingly endless period of time during which we have to be apart.
But you know what? I’ll be back. In less than a fortnight, I’ll be able to come home to my Daddy – the man who rocks me in his lap, puts me over his knee when I’m naughty, spoils me with pink and purple and shiny and sweeties, and who, most importantly, allows me to be little – and vulnerable – when I need to.
Over here, I’m a managing editor, I’m a multi-published author, I’m a colleague, a friend, a counsellor, a big sister, and a grown woman who has her shit together (or is very good at faking it, lol).
I love all these roles in my life, but being your babygirl is something special. It’s something I’ve always searched for but never found – until now. And I am counting the days, the hours, the minutes and the seconds until I can be back in your arms.
At home with my Daddy.
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