Another summer night, another fire escape. We’ve brought a blanket out and turned the fan around in the window so that it’s blowing over us. We have the stereo on and pointed toward the windows, but with the volume low so we don’t disturb the neighbors.
I’m snuggled in the crook of his arm as he tells me about his fucked up family and I feel my unexpressed love for him growing stronger as he spins his tales of childhood woe. Many years later I’ll realize that I have a soft spot for the broken birds. I think I can fix their wings because I was broken once too but I fixed myself. Mostly. I believe that in return my birds will repay me with songs of undying love, gratitude, and praise. It never works out that way.
On this night he falls silent with tears welling up in his eyes after he tells me something only three people in the whole world know. It’s the first time an adult man has let me see him cry. I tell him I’m so sorry and kiss him and he kisses me back. We turn to each other and begin kissing feverishly.
We are stroking each other over our clothes and I can feel him straining against his jeans. I unzip his pants and reach in to touch his hardness and he moans. I push him lightly onto his back, slide off my panties, and then lift up my dress and climb on top of him. While I’m reaching under my dress to help him find his way inside me, I realize Jeff Buckley’s cover of “Hallelujah” is playing.
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