Pack. I never thought I would have people that mean so much to me. I never thought I would feel such a bond. I used to see people listing themselves in leather families and tribes. I knew those were not for me. They just wouldn’t be where I fit, where I could be me with all my scars and bruised up emotions. I couldn’t be vulnerable there. That was just not meant for me. I was meant to walk alone. Always alone.
I was wrong. It happened slowly. I gained courage or maybe it was desperation but somehow the people that were meant to be pack… well they just were. It’s a rare thing for me. It’s beautiful and in the beginning it was quite scary.
I didn’t understand the depth of the connection. A lot of people have no idea how close we really are. I’m Ok with that. They don’t need to know.
Some of these souls I have been friends with a very long time. Some not so long but there is always that instant soul recognition.
There has been people that wanted pack status. For whatever reason I always hesitated to bring them into the “pack”. Not because they weren’t good enough to be. It’s just because my pack isn’t the right pack for them at this time.
My pack is fierce. It is soft. It is vulnerable and it is accepting. It is support and unconditional love. It is not without accountability though. We can and will hold each other accountable for our actions and we will stand side by side against challenges. No lies.
There is no need to be perfect. We don’t expect it. We don’t always see each other often or even talk everyday but I know if I need them all I have to do is IM and I think the know the same. Time, distance, whatever the hurdle if it is possible it will be done. What’s mine is theirs.
You may see me standing alone but that is never really the case. They are there. They are closer to me than family. They know the secrets that I only dare whisper in the dark. The pain that eats at me like an infection from days already past. They help me heal. Through acceptance, support and love.
It’s a cycle, an ebb and flow. Yet, when I think about them. Time and distance doesn’t matter. The connection lingers. Lingers past lovers and family. Lingers past mistakes and stumbles.
I know my pack is small but it doesn’t lack strength. It is exactly what I need. There are others out there that belong here with us but they have yet to find their way or their reason possibly.
People see the title of “in a pack with” and they don’t really understand what that means to me. They are my literal life line. They have picked me up from psych wards, sat with me in ERs and kept my soul safe when all I wanted to do was leave this existence.
We have all been through a lot. We all have inner scars and wounds. We also all have each other, even if they don’t actually know each other that well. Knowing that I consider them pack gives a certain amount of… support. See not everyone I call pack calls each other pack and that is just fine with me. There is no doubt in my mind that they all belong. There is some odd recognition.
It’s a bit scary actually. People that are willing to see your soul as it is. All your fears and self hatred, all the fuck ups and disappointments. The vulnerability is hard with just a partner, this is a group of people. I am stronger for them knowing. I am stronger for their support. I know that I don’t have to face anything alone. I know that they love me, for me, without agenda. That this part of me truly permeates all of me. They drag me along when I can’t go any further.
But it’s not all struggle. There is so much joy and laughter and shared victories. It’s life, taken out of the pretty packages we put on for the world. It’s the place I can strip away my armor and just be. With pack. I love them more than most of my family.
Oslo Norway Norway BDSM, Bergen Norway BDSM, Kristiansand Norway BDSM, Trondheim Norway BDSM, Stockholm Sweden BDSM, Malmo Sweden BDSM, Sundsvall Sweden BDSM, Gothenburg Sweden BDSM, Umea Sweden BDSM, Lulea Sweden BDSM, Copenhagen Denmark BDSM,
Aalborg Denmark BDSM, Aarhus Denmark BDSM, Esbjerg Denmark BDSM, helsinki Finland BDSM, turku Finland BDSM, Tallinn Estonia BDSM, Riga Latvia BDSM, Warsaw Poland BDSM, Prague Czech Republic BDSM, Vienna Austria BDSM, Athens Greece BDSM,
Cairo Egypt BDSM, Hamburg Germany BDSM, Hanover Germany BDSM, Cologne Germany BDSM, Frankfurt Germany BDSM, Munich Germany BDSM, Berlin Germany BDSM, Dresden Germany BDSM, Dortmund Germany BDSM, Leipzig Germany BDSM, Moscow Russia BDSM,
Saint Petersburg Russia BDSM, Abbotsford Canada BDSM, Burnaby Canada BDSM, Calgary Canada BDSM, Chilliwack Canada BDSM, Coquitlam Canada BDSM, Delta Canada BDSM, Hamilton Canada BDSM, London Canada BDSM, Maple Ridge Canada BDSM,
Mississauga Canada BDSM, Montreal Canada BDSM, Montreal Canada BDSM, Niagra Falls Canada BDSM, Ottawa Canada BDSM, Quebec City Canada BDSM, Richmond Canada BDSM, Surrey Canada BDSM, Toronto Canada BDSM, Vancouver Canada BDSM, West Vancouver Canada BDSM,
Winnipeg Canada BDSM, Madrid Spain BDSM, Bilbao Spain BDSM, Barcelona Spain BDSM, Valencie Spain BDSM, Sevilla Spain BDSM, Murcia Spain BDSM, Zaragoza Spain BDSM, Valladolid Spain BDSM, Coruna Spain BDSM, Palma Spain BDSM, Lisbon Portugal BDSM,
Faro Portugal BDSM, Porto Portugal BDSM, Geneva Switzerland BDSM, Bern Switzerland BDSM, Zurich Switzerland BDSM, Lugano Switzerland BDSM, Mesocco Switzerland BDSM, Davos Switzerland BDSM, Lausanne Switzerland BDSM, Basel Switzerland BDSM,
Turin Italy BDSM, Milan Italy BDSM, Bologna Italy BDSM, Bolzano Italy BDSM, Venice Italy BDSM, Parma Italy BDSM, Florence Italy BDSM, Ancona Italy BDSM, Pescara Italy BDSM, Rome Italy BDSM, Naples Italy BDSM, Verona Italy BDSM, Genoa Italy BDSM,
Bari Italy BDSM, Taranto Italy BDSM, Naples Italy BDSM, Sassari Italy BDSM, Messina Sicily BDSM, Palermo Sicily BDSM, Catania Sicily BDSM,
Aaron Bsn, Abbi Chalk, Ahmed Toubale, Aïla Lankaranian, Ali Finlay, Alio Flos, Antoine Runacher Vpe, Athene Xenia Aristocleous, Becca Hawkins, Bella D’Anzi, Caitlin Thomas, Caleb Ng, Camille Mercat, Charlotte Scott, Charlotte Sleet, Chloé Barthe, Dee Wasielewska, Domile Abelyte, Ella Joy Lawrence, Eva Lopez Eiro, Eve Bombole, Georgia Harris, Hassina Toubale, Hugo Prando, Jessamy Lelliott, Joely Thompson
Jpos Torres, Julie Naudet Crea, Kai Gittos, Kassem Toubale, Katie Lindsey Smith, Katya Smolko, Layla Daniel, Léa Toubale, Lee Beevers, Louise Henderson, Lucas Descause, Marie-eva Barclay, Mel Dodd, Mohamed Toubale, Nine Halimi, Noémie Beriye, Nolie Gaudesaboos, Oumaima El Idrissi, Pierrot Ducrot, Rémi Conte, Reuben Attia, Reuben Hunt, Skye de la Mare, Stephanie Kirk, Stephie Palmer, Tarek Toubale
Timothé Mercat, Viktorija Pociute, Yacine Toubale, Sinead Murdoch, Hortense Pl-Dn, Léa Coquelle, Tashana Elainé Judson-Saul, Rossella Bittichesu, Abhelaashan Easparanathan, Ashraf Uddin, AnneSophie Antas, Stephane Del Pérugia, Charli Beaumont, Lauradele Sorcelle, Vivian Buard, Rose Borel, Alice Dogruyol, Karim Eltayeb, Dany Acevedo, Eva Clairambaud, Lais Harumi, Meropi Stamna, Nadia Nuseibeh, Lottie Butler, Talia Laikin