Over on the Book of Faces, I am part of a group that shares memes and such from the musical Hamilton. So far, the main lesson has been – if you are a fan of a thing, join a fan group of that thing and you will feel completely normal. On his web series, Pop Culture Quest, Mark Hamill expressed it well when he said that watching someone else go overboard on a fandom can really put your own into perspective.
The other day, a young man posed a question that seemed a little too familiar. He said he has been trying to get his girlfriend to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack, but she wants to wait until they go to see the show live. How to get her to change her mind, he wanted to know. “What do I do?” he asked.
A few people indulged him and suggested ways to sneak the songs to her – have the soundtrack on when she comes over, put it on while they’re both in the car, etc.
But more people than not advised him to leave it alone. One even told him he might be looking for another date to the theater if he pushed too hard.
The whole thing reminded me of countless threads I’ve seen on here where someone asks, “How do I get my partner to indulge me in my kink/how do I make my partner kinky?”
The answer – you don’t. You respect a no. Whatever the context. You don’t manipulate the situation to your favor, you don’t trick them into doing it.
You act like an adult.
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