So, I had this idea about how we make connections while talking with a friend the other day and she suggest that I write it all down and share it. Here goes…
Imagine that our inner selves consist of a wildly spinning orb. Our psyche or our ID or soul, whatever you want to call it. This orb travels through the world, in both space and time, seeking connections to other things and people. Every contact we have creates a string, an invisible thread connecting us to it. Some are strong threads, and some are weak. For example, this morning’s coffee creates just a weak string connection, because as soon as it’s cold or the cup is empty, it’s gone. But the idea of having a morning cup of coffee is connected to my soul with a tree trunk thick rope; I cannot survive without it. These strings serve to anchor our wildly spinning orbs, helping to tame our frenzied activity, providing us with focus, pulling us in certain directions.
In person, we meet many people daily, and create perhaps thousands of strings of connection. The mind learns from an early age which to cherish and grow (attachments to our parents and grandparents) and which to sever (the cute barista who made my cup of overly-expensive flavored, foamed coffee). We constantly judge and evaluate the strength and value of these connections, and in this way, pick our way, unconsciously, through life. So long as a string resonants pleasantly with its attachment to our inner being, we keep it.
We do the same thing over the Internet, using chat and email messages, and clever emoticons to attempt to connect with people of similar interests, most of whom we’ve never met, and might not even talk to if we saw them walking down the street. We write, and write, and write again, sending threads out into the ether. Occasionally, one connects with another orb. Some connections are loose, and they vanish almost as quickly as they attached. Other times, the connection catch a firm hold on the other soul, pulls tight, and begins to vibrate with a mutually-induced resonance. A smile, a friendly, funny reply to an email, a short conversation in the check-out line at the grocery. We respond by sending out more strings in that direction, to strengthen the pleasant “feeling” of that connection, to help it grow thicker, more solid. It’s not easy. It takes time. In layman’s terms, we call it “getting to know someone”. After a while, we stop noticing things like distance and availability, appearance, wealth, and we cling to those strings which bind us to that person as if we’re clutching a lifeline in the ocean.
If we’re successful, and the other person is grasping and pulling just as hard, this forms a pairing of the orbs, which begin to revolve around each other. The best ones form a binary pair; two suns pivoting brightly around a point equidistant between them, driven by the mutual gravity connecting them but never collapsing into the other orb. We see these types of relationships here on FET, the ones happily in love and at peace with the flaming hot wildly spinning orbs at their core, because the strings that bind them manage to slow them down to pleasant velocities, focusing their enjoyment on mutual activities. This is, I think, similar to a successful D/s pairing. A Dom will send a request, which, when followed by the sub, creates a new string attaching the two. The sub needs the tasks to focus, the Dom needs the compliance to feel complete. The same can be true of punishments, as again, the interaction provides another string attachment between the two.
At other times, one orb will feel a stronger attraction to the other, which isn’t fully reciprocated. This can become an orbit, where one revolves around the other, captured by it like the Moon around the Earth. This forms more of a Master/slave pairing. The Master needs to know that there’s a satellite in orbit while the slave is happiest being connected to a larger, more powerful orb. This completes and satisfies their souls. Both types of pairing can be successful when the souls understand what’s happening.
Our childhoods consist of orbital connections, as we revolve around our parents, learning from them and growing older, and hopefully, smarter with time. Eventually the pairing becomes binary, though in a significantly wider rotation, to make room for girlfriends/boyfriends and/or spouses some day. We call it “growing apart”, even though that string connection remains throughout life. To those of you without parents, I’m sorry for your loss and hope you found successful pairings to guide your development as youth.
Naturally, when either the binary or orbital pairings are broken, the inherent spinning velocity slings us back out into the world, causing disorientation, despair, and confusion. We attempt to stabilize by shooting out more strings, seeking new connections, new anchor points to stabilize us again. These don’t always take the form of new relationships with people; we may take up new hobbies, or devote more time to work. Anything is fine if it slows the spin and creates focus. Almost anything, as addictive vices create powerful, and detrimental orbits of their own. The disconnection is a painful process, as it should be. If the attachment points were strong, it feels like pieces of our souls have been pulled away. This is unfortunate, and I can see nothing which is capable of preventing the pain when it happens.
Not only do these strings stabilize us in life, they attach to and pull our better qualities from deep within our souls. How many times have we heard “he/she makes me a better person”? If a string attached to our smile, and that smile cheers the soul of your binary partner, that smile will naturally become more and more frequent. “She just brightens my day.” In a sense, these string connections guide us, if we’ve chosen them wisely, into becoming the human being we were meant to be, through positive reinforcement; that mutually-pleasing vibration, like a song the two connected orbs sing to only each other. When we connect to a compatible soul, of which I feel there are many in this world, we improve, we try harder, we become more successful in our professional lives. We choose to make better connections, and nurture them to last a lifetime. We place decreasing value on the ephemeral non-resonating connections; our worlds “shrink” into concentrated solar systems, with useful connections orbiting the guiding, successful binary pair.
Do you think that connections to certain other people can make us fundamentally better people? Please share your thoughts!
Oslo Norway Norway BDSM, Bergen Norway BDSM, Kristiansand Norway BDSM, Trondheim Norway BDSM, Stockholm Sweden BDSM, Malmo Sweden BDSM, Sundsvall Sweden BDSM, Gothenburg Sweden BDSM, Umea Sweden BDSM, Lulea Sweden BDSM, Copenhagen Denmark BDSM,
Aalborg Denmark BDSM, Aarhus Denmark BDSM, Esbjerg Denmark BDSM, helsinki Finland BDSM, turku Finland BDSM, Tallinn Estonia BDSM, Riga Latvia BDSM, Warsaw Poland BDSM, Prague Czech Republic BDSM, Vienna Austria BDSM, Athens Greece BDSM,
Cairo Egypt BDSM, Hamburg Germany BDSM, Hanover Germany BDSM, Cologne Germany BDSM, Frankfurt Germany BDSM, Munich Germany BDSM, Berlin Germany BDSM, Dresden Germany BDSM, Dortmund Germany BDSM, Leipzig Germany BDSM, Moscow Russia BDSM,
Saint Petersburg Russia BDSM, Abbotsford Canada BDSM, Burnaby Canada BDSM, Calgary Canada BDSM, Chilliwack Canada BDSM, Coquitlam Canada BDSM, Delta Canada BDSM, Hamilton Canada BDSM, London Canada BDSM, Maple Ridge Canada BDSM,
Mississauga Canada BDSM, Montreal Canada BDSM, Montreal Canada BDSM, Niagra Falls Canada BDSM, Ottawa Canada BDSM, Quebec City Canada BDSM, Richmond Canada BDSM, Surrey Canada BDSM, Toronto Canada BDSM, Vancouver Canada BDSM, West Vancouver Canada BDSM,
Winnipeg Canada BDSM, Madrid Spain BDSM, Bilbao Spain BDSM, Barcelona Spain BDSM, Valencie Spain BDSM, Sevilla Spain BDSM, Murcia Spain BDSM, Zaragoza Spain BDSM, Valladolid Spain BDSM, Coruna Spain BDSM, Palma Spain BDSM, Lisbon Portugal BDSM,
Faro Portugal BDSM, Porto Portugal BDSM, Geneva Switzerland BDSM, Bern Switzerland BDSM, Zurich Switzerland BDSM, Lugano Switzerland BDSM, Mesocco Switzerland BDSM, Davos Switzerland BDSM, Lausanne Switzerland BDSM, Basel Switzerland BDSM,
Turin Italy BDSM, Milan Italy BDSM, Bologna Italy BDSM, Bolzano Italy BDSM, Venice Italy BDSM, Parma Italy BDSM, Florence Italy BDSM, Ancona Italy BDSM, Pescara Italy BDSM, Rome Italy BDSM, Naples Italy BDSM, Verona Italy BDSM, Genoa Italy BDSM,
Bari Italy BDSM, Taranto Italy BDSM, Naples Italy BDSM, Sassari Italy BDSM, Messina Sicily BDSM, Palermo Sicily BDSM, Catania Sicily BDSM,
Aaron Bsn, Abbi Chalk, Ahmed Toubale, Aïla Lankaranian, Ali Finlay, Alio Flos, Antoine Runacher Vpe, Athene Xenia Aristocleous, Becca Hawkins, Bella D’Anzi, Caitlin Thomas, Caleb Ng, Camille Mercat, Charlotte Scott, Charlotte Sleet, Chloé Barthe, Dee Wasielewska, Domile Abelyte, Ella Joy Lawrence, Eva Lopez Eiro, Eve Bombole, Georgia Harris, Hassina Toubale, Hugo Prando, Jessamy Lelliott, Joely Thompson
Jpos Torres, Julie Naudet Crea, Kai Gittos, Kassem Toubale, Katie Lindsey Smith, Katya Smolko, Layla Daniel, Léa Toubale, Lee Beevers, Louise Henderson, Lucas Descause, Marie-eva Barclay, Mel Dodd, Mohamed Toubale, Nine Halimi, Noémie Beriye, Nolie Gaudesaboos, Oumaima El Idrissi, Pierrot Ducrot, Rémi Conte, Reuben Attia, Reuben Hunt, Skye de la Mare, Stephanie Kirk, Stephie Palmer, Tarek Toubale
Timothé Mercat, Viktorija Pociute, Yacine Toubale, Sinead Murdoch, Hortense Pl-Dn, Léa Coquelle, Tashana Elainé Judson-Saul, Rossella Bittichesu, Abhelaashan Easparanathan, Ashraf Uddin, AnneSophie Antas, Stephane Del Pérugia, Charli Beaumont, Lauradele Sorcelle, Vivian Buard, Rose Borel, Alice Dogruyol, Karim Eltayeb, Dany Acevedo, Eva Clairambaud, Lais Harumi, Meropi Stamna, Nadia Nuseibeh, Lottie Butler, Talia Laikin